My first visit to a gynaecologist as a sexually active woman was traumatic

When Should You See a Gynaecologist?

Thanks to lack of awareness, most people assume that the only time you need to visit a gynaecologist is when you are planning to conceive – this is entirely false. Women’s health is so much more than just pregnancy and pregnancy-related issues. If you have questions or concerns around your reproductive system or menstrual or sexual health, you should reach out to a gynaecologist.

Here are some examples or instances of when you should see a gynaecologist:

1. Irregular, heavy, painful or no periods. Delayed menarche or concerns around menopause
2. Questions around maintaining menstrual and vaginal hygiene. Information about finding and using the right period product
3. Staying up to date about vaccinations, such as HPV vaccine and getting regular Pap smear done after the age of 21
4. Questions around safe sex practices, sexual dysfunction or contraceptives

I went to a gynecologist a few months ago to inquire if everything was fine with my vagina & other reproductive parts.

Pain During Sex

I had been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and we had tried to have penetrative sex for a long time but every time he would try to insert his penis, it would hurt a lot and we would have to stop.

Initially, I thought that the problem was related to me being a virgin; I thought that maybe because my hymen was intact or because I was nervous since it was my first time. I was extremely scared to see the gynecologist because this was my very first time even going to one. She had been suggested to me by a friend so that calmed my nerves a little.

How To Ask Your Doctor Questions

Since I was uncomfortable bringing up the sex issue first, I had planned to ask her about how to treat another issue that I was having related to painful periods.

Experiencing Stigma

Once she prescribed pain medication for the period issues, I collected the courage to ask her about the sex concern. She looked disappointed and asked me “Why do you need to have sex now? Just do it after marriage. This will create problems for you.” I was so shocked.

Through the tears collecting in my eyes, I asked if she would at least examine me. After a lot of hesitation, she examined my vagina. Her only advice to me was to ask my boyfriend to be “more forceful” and then she dismissed me abruptly.

This experience left me so shattered and ashamed that I’ve never been to a gynaecologist again for fear of re-visiting the trauma I felt. I just hope no other woman goes through something similar when they are trying to explore their sexuality. I’m pretty sure no men my age, including my boyfriend, would ever be subjected to the same judgment and scrutiny.

Tips If You’ve Had a Similar Experience